Next week should be better.
Hoping for sunshine and self control.

I hate rainy Days.

Rainy Days are STOOPID!
I'm hungry!

This school is one of underachievers. Lack of work, lack of interest of teachers, and lack of student interest, but what can I say, the free time is nice.
Anyway, it's Tuesday, somewhat of a trip, a three day weekend is nice but still to short. Such a tease, get you all comfortable and pull you out again. The weekend left much to be desired but it was still muy divertido. Oh you like my use of Spanish in there? of course you do.
More than anything it consisted of the most bootleg way of getting a video game fix, walking my ass over to best buy to play guitar hero two days in a row.
Hungry and Sad, Friday night i made my way over to Ventura where i ate well at headlines, a nice omelet heavy on the cheese with hash browns i wasn't expecting. I dined discussing the tumultuous, tragic, and dramatic stories of my insane family, while Daigneault told me of his. Interesting i must say, with not much left to do we took the milbank rout back to my house and came upon Best Buy where i gravitated toward guitar hero, and discovered a new obsessions. I don't really know how long i stayed there but i had to give up my title when some HxC black guy asked threateningly "can i play winner," I gave up before i was humiliated.
Next day my day was made, when heather texted me, she was around so i ended up putting on my wind breaker and running out the door past, people in houses all the way to my little lady, we ate farm boy on the curb, and walked around being strange as usual. We hung out until she got on that dash and dashed out of my arms and into the sunset,off to shake, after that i collected daigneault and i had a craving FOR MORE GUITAR HERO, so we went to play again, i cant remember what happened the rest of night, same old same old.
Sunday was the funnest day of the weekend, I got up early for some reason, i guess it was the excitment of a shopping day in the making. We made ourway over the bumpy hill, in the short bus that takes you to Fairfax. Ah the joy that came over me as i saw the tents,like a circus, endless entertainment of clothes . We went to the cobra snake yard sale first, it was quaint, but it was still nice, we spent a lot of time talking to strider of hippo gorilla giraffe. Then we traveled to the flea market and up and down Melrose, going back and looking at things again, i got some kool shitt i must sayy, GOOD TIMES.
Monday was lame, i trained for the Xtreme Eating competition, I'm going to win I KNOW IT

Fuck ups and Fall Outs: The Tragic Tales of Fading Friendships

I over reacted, but for good reason
out of good intent.
All things resolved,
I'm happy again.
but i'll always be competing with a lifestyle.
I love my friends.

Whats up today...

There is nothing to do in this class. Well there is, but nothing worth my while, today anyway. We have a substitute extraordinar. Lovely old man with hair of white an ignorance up the ying yang. Sub days always mean free days even if you know you have things to do, they make you say fuck it NOT WORKING TODAY!
Anyway whats there to say about today, not much but that I am missing my bffl, my main man, my whoop and the crack to my pipe. I've Hardly seen Heather and its left, almost a void in my heart. I really love her. Its sounds weird but I mean I've never had a best friend quite like her. Never had anyone i could really talk to and that understood me on such a level. I don't think I could be able to take if we broke ties or something of the sort because I've been screwed over many a time by those who i considered best friends. Most relationships I've been in, speaking in terms of friends, i was never the one valued, so to have that now is something different, even though i feel the same way i used to, (not being valued) sometimes. I feel as if someone else is valued more than me because they have something more to offer. Even though you know you REALLY know they are a horrible friend who only care about themselves and what other people have to offer them without any regard towards your feelings. Its called experience and its known that history repeats itself.
i don't know i just feel slightly
Bothersome and
Excluded
ALL IN ALL NOT GOOD ENOUGH!
I just don't want to be hurt AGAIN.

ive been told this is what i am. ouch.

I am a
Disgusting,
Sick,
& twisted individual
but i dont know how to be anything else.

IF YOUR FAT GET OVER IT, JUST SHUT UP.

Its a funny thing to think about, the fact that at this moment, almost every female in L.A is in a fatful state of mind. It seems that EVERYONE seems to think they are fat. EVERYONE is on a mission to lose weight and EVERYONE is taking those extreme methods comparable to those you call of Eating Disorders and or intrest in hunger supressing drugs. Not suprising since these E.D's have become such a fad as well as drugs, BUT THATS NOT THE POINT. The point is that we LA are one of FEW places that is SOOO FOCUSED on being unrealistically thin. Im not excused from this computaion, but from what i have seen, the rest of the country is not as focused and not even close to being our sizes, so why is it that we care so much? Is it that we are closer to those advertising this type of body type? or that we are some what closer to a chance at 15 minutes of fame? Whatever it is palces around the country with the same magazines everywhere dont care HALF as much as we do? Or do they? hmm Im just kind of sick of hearing people say IM FAT IM FAT i need to loose weight. Im not saying i dont say it either i do, i too have a low self image but honestly people, jeez shut up, im not as obssessed as i was before but it still plagues my mind, but im not pushing this shit to extremes, like many. I am NOT speaking for all of you but all i can say is people need to chil the fuck out.
GO EAT A FUCKING SANDWHICH.
and be HAPPY.

Last fucking night of break.

Well I've decided to post again, as i become more and more comfortable with the some what sanctuary that is this "blogspot." I'm not completly sure if that is so yet, since i dont know if more than just heather can read what I've written, what im writing and what I am going to write. Hmm whatever, what have i got to hide? not much. Well, its 9:36, very interesting im sure. someone somewhere is having the time of their life, but me, all eyes are on the calendar as I'm realizing that time has creeped its way forward to the end of what was a heavenly break. Yeah it was fun, even though that beautifully magical little feeling in the pit of my stomach that comes with the holiday seasons has long since passed. Not once did it tickle my soul this December, but none the less it was fun. I guess it comes with the age. I guess at this age we are consumed with what doesnt tickle our souls but what expands ourminds, such as illegal substances that seem to punch us in the face with feelings we cant get naturally. Not saying they arent fun but hm is that whats in? Anyway its time to start school in 2008, its looking quite grim. Good night to all, stick to your resolutions, i say that sarcastically as i know you wont, no one ever does. Atleast not me.

I dont know why I made this, Im unfamilar with the concept, im not sure how to use it, so lets just see how this goes, should I introduce myself, no thats really stupid. Okay im done with this "blog entry" wow I feel so, web savvy!