I'm cold and I need to pee!
Monday, March 31, 2008
Revelations.
Well there was lots of talk of revelations today,
including my own and it has perpetuated a longing in me to commit to a change.
I've come a long way i suppose,
but there has been a tremendous decrease in mass of my closest companion
that has hatched a bird of will that wants to prove itself.
Of course i don't have all the tools she has, solely because of my severe case of hypochondria,
which i have diagnosed my self with!
BUT there is still ways of achieving things.
WHICH I WILL.
I mean I can, if i really committed i could,
but there RIGHT THERE that bold faced word is my actual problem.
I can't get my mind to commit.
I can't get over the things what my mind is so used to.
Thats what they say isn't it
"its all in your head"
But I'm really going to try.
(LMFAO I ONCE WEIGHED 50 lbs. )
including my own and it has perpetuated a longing in me to commit to a change.
I've come a long way i suppose,
but there has been a tremendous decrease in mass of my closest companion
that has hatched a bird of will that wants to prove itself.
Of course i don't have all the tools she has, solely because of my severe case of hypochondria,
which i have diagnosed my self with!
BUT there is still ways of achieving things.
WHICH I WILL.
I mean I can, if i really committed i could,
but there RIGHT THERE that bold faced word is my actual problem.
I can't get my mind to commit.
I can't get over the things what my mind is so used to.
Thats what they say isn't it
"its all in your head"
But I'm really going to try.
(LMFAO I ONCE WEIGHED 50 lbs. )
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
I want to be a big loser! HA
I'd really like to feel better about myself.
Knowing myself, i know that people aren't always truthful about the comments they make to other people,
so I have little trust when it comes to anyones word. So I guess I just have to abide by my outlook on everything.
But isn't that what everyone should do?
Thats just my opinion.
Yet there is always some kind of obstacle that gets in my way,
when i try to make a change.
I want to commit myself to doing something and sticking to it.
If you knew me
you'd probably know what I am talking about.
What I bitch at and struggle with ENDLESSLY!
This time I'm committing.
It's really all i want.
Lets shed some mass.
Knowing myself, i know that people aren't always truthful about the comments they make to other people,
so I have little trust when it comes to anyones word. So I guess I just have to abide by my outlook on everything.
But isn't that what everyone should do?
Thats just my opinion.
Yet there is always some kind of obstacle that gets in my way,
when i try to make a change.
I want to commit myself to doing something and sticking to it.
If you knew me
you'd probably know what I am talking about.
What I bitch at and struggle with ENDLESSLY!
This time I'm committing.
It's really all i want.
Lets shed some mass.
I'm not feeling to good.
Well I'm back in school and its far from enjoyable. The break made me far more secure, comfortable and socialable. Well thats over, schools back, and that uptight feeling of the tie that binds has taken hold of me once again. I don't feel comfortable here. I feel quite aliented, mostly because my closest companions are consumed by other "recreational activities." I'm not exactly sure why these things don't really appeal to me they never really have. Yet sometimes I did, because it seems like im this boring loser who always declines an offer to be social. and have some sort of fun.
Mer Im so gay
Mer Im so gay
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Spring Break 08.
Spring break so far is a very causal, moderately exciting week so far.
I can't believe its already, THURSDAY.
But its been fun.
Chilling out maxin and relaxin all cool.
Going to DANCE!
Being with my friends.
Making some new ones.
But even though its almost over, it just means i'm
THIS
much closer to
SUMMER!
the only thing that bothers me, is that i was supposed to use this week to better myself .
ya know try to get a little slimmer and what not.
but like always it turned into a fat fest
which really disappoints me.
I really just want some
DAMN
self control
I can't believe its already, THURSDAY.
But its been fun.
Chilling out maxin and relaxin all cool.
Going to DANCE!
Being with my friends.
Making some new ones.
But even though its almost over, it just means i'm
THIS
much closer to
SUMMER!
the only thing that bothers me, is that i was supposed to use this week to better myself .
ya know try to get a little slimmer and what not.
but like always it turned into a fat fest
which really disappoints me.
I really just want some
DAMN
self control
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
BLAHHHH!!!
Life is retarded.
Everything is retardeddd!!
UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
someone please
shoot me
in the
HEAD.
COOL!
Everything is retardeddd!!
UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
someone please
shoot me
in the
HEAD.
COOL!
Monday, March 10, 2008
The unfathomable way the gears in my mind turn.
I miss being sad
I miss being happy.
I miss feeling
Don't you?
I miss being happy.
I miss feeling
Don't you?
Spring Forward, fast forward, its all the same.
Day Light Savings, hmm doesn't it feel as if it came a little early this year, besides the fact that it did, doesn't it feel like we got here a little bit to quickly.
This time of year always bring about huge fits of nostalgia.
I just feel like I've been here before, sitting in this same chair, looking out the same window into the same familiar sun, its warmth against my face, the same sight.
I can't feel time going by, I can't fathom the fact that I've gone through so many experiences and came back to sit in the same place and reflect.
It was summer a week ago, don't you think?
I feel maybe I've spent my time wasting my time on nothing. I have nothing to show for all the years that have gone by.
But that is beside the point.
Times moving more quickly than i can grab on to.
and I'm not sure what I'm doing.
The same night sky is mystifying me again.
and I'm listening to the music that once stirred my emotions on a particular situation.
And I'm not sure where to smile, or cry, its such an odd mix, I feel overwhelmed.
God its so STRANGE!
Man what spring forward will do to you.
Too bad you can't spring back!
This time of year always bring about huge fits of nostalgia.
I just feel like I've been here before, sitting in this same chair, looking out the same window into the same familiar sun, its warmth against my face, the same sight.
I can't feel time going by, I can't fathom the fact that I've gone through so many experiences and came back to sit in the same place and reflect.
It was summer a week ago, don't you think?
I feel maybe I've spent my time wasting my time on nothing. I have nothing to show for all the years that have gone by.
But that is beside the point.
Times moving more quickly than i can grab on to.
and I'm not sure what I'm doing.
The same night sky is mystifying me again.
and I'm listening to the music that once stirred my emotions on a particular situation.
And I'm not sure where to smile, or cry, its such an odd mix, I feel overwhelmed.
God its so STRANGE!
Man what spring forward will do to you.
Too bad you can't spring back!
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Nast-E
I'm jealous cause I'm unsure of myself.
Theres so much to be unsure of.
"I walked by a mirror and much to my dismay
I looked a little closer and had to run away"
I don't like myself. I don't like who i am. Everything about my fluctuates.
I never really feel good enough.
SO much about me is wrong.
I don't like the way I look, and I don't like the way I can't think.
Can't I just wake up one day and miraculously be better
I've been waiting for it to happen over night
my whole life.
Theres so much to be unsure of.
"I walked by a mirror and much to my dismay
I looked a little closer and had to run away"
I don't like myself. I don't like who i am. Everything about my fluctuates.
I never really feel good enough.
SO much about me is wrong.
I don't like the way I look, and I don't like the way I can't think.
Can't I just wake up one day and miraculously be better
I've been waiting for it to happen over night
my whole life.
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